Niegloa EflingHa

I have been longing, far to far been longing.
Always the same, never different
the darkness I spend tasting
feeling, grasping
thinking, wondering
of what
i am
feeling

its hard too hard to shout
to someone who doesn't hear
who doesn't give a thought
its hard too hard to give
to someone who doesn't receive

hallow is the word that adores it
though shallow it better describes the fret
of the wallows and gallows of the weary
that makes it beat and dreary

have you ever been neglected?
unloved?
forgotten?
surrendered?
surely, oh surely you must've
for this is a beautiful, cruel world
no, this is a beautiful world
this is a world
this world
a world
where we are free
free
free to be hurt
to love
to hurt
and to hurt once more
but love
is whats missing
in this world
a world of hatred
and suffering
but love
love
is still missing
and missing
so it stays,
shall it stay

Meant, not Meant

Im telling you, we are meant for each other.  You are meant for me.  I am meant for you. It's not denial,  its not unacceptance,  it's intuition.

You are free to go. I am free to live.

My Thoughts

The pain of your absence is difficult to understand. Its a feeling that I still could not comprehend.
I've been lost in thoughts of the separation. Its hard for me, as you put it with indignation.
I still don't understand the reasons why, you said how, you said why you tried
How ridiculous your thoughts were, running, ranting and squirming up there
The upheavals of your mind was more agitating, having episodes so depressing, uncomprehending

Can't believe I stubbornly let me fell in love with someone on mask of hue,
Even if the signs were as clear and as translucent as the sky so blue
Shouting in my mind and in my chest the words you eloquently delivered
That sounded wonderfully to the ears which I dearly and curiously riddled

But regret not, remorse not, I say to myself with affirmation
For you have been part of the story that once has hope even without confirmation
Even you played it so confusingly, this beautiful piece of musicry
Of my life that once was tad void, somewhat null and ineffectual
Now has notes that oh so dramatically drawn which makes it bewilderedly musical

The Remedy

I'm ill. Not physically, but all of the other aspects. You see, I've been a little too much depressed lately, adding the fact that i have no one to talk to - not that i have literally no one - simply put, i don't like talking to anyone about how i feel, what i think of, what i'm worried, sick or care about. the truth is, i haven't told anyone about my real feelings, my thoughts, personal matters, dilemmas, even things that makes me edgy or happy. I'm afraid they might know me more than they should for i don't like it. i just don't like the idea. but it also have it's downsides and i would just have to let everything inside this chest and head of mine to be free so i'd be free. I'm tired of crying myself out of this state. So this is a good way to remedy an ill person. A dose of medicine for myself. Atleast someone anonymous might read this and know.

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